Dr. Von Zuko's highly subjective and rather opinionated reviews.
With a critical eye on pure entertainment value.
Here are a few Sci-Fi Movies that are so bad they are good!
Weird, campy and maybe even cult film potential.
Godzilla
Big screened the new "Godzilla" movie tonight. Now don't laugh, but this is the best Godzilla movie ever made.
An actual story line, character development, outstanding special effects, more of the human element than ever before. The traditional "Godzilla against Mothera style plot. Only . . . turn up the lights guys a lot of "dark." Very good in my opinion.
Forget 60 years worth of bad dubbing, men in rubber suits and cardboard miniature cities . . . this is a most worthy rehash of the Godzilla tale. In this well-crafted re-telling, monstrous creatures again descend on mankind.
Mothera is awakened with a craving for intense radioactive sustenance, which becomes a real problem for mankind. Mothera and Godzilla find themselves at odds with each other which is also not good for humans, but Godzilla, proves to also be the only hope for mankind.
No spoilers here . . . watch it, you won't be sorry.
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Arachnoquake
A series of earthquakes open fissures around the city of New Orleans.
A species of giant fire-breathing spiders emerge from centuries of hibernation to hunt on the surface.
A team of specialist dissect one with a hunting knife and handle the internal and dangerous organs with no surgical gloves. The spiders get many a meal, but in the end a guy in a divers suit runs a dozen blocks (past numerous military vehicles). He is armed with a sawed off 12 gauge shotgun that has remarkable 500 yard range. The guy in the diver's suit gets snatched up by the Queen Spider, he kills her with a lantern battery that causes her to explode. All the baby giant spiders die when the Queen explodes.
A series of earthquakes open fissures in and around the city of New Orleans.
A species of giant fire-breathing spiders emerge from centuries of hibernation to hunt on the surface.
A team of specialist dissect one with a hunting knife and handle the internal and dangerous organs with no surgical gloves. The spiders get many a meal. In the thrilling conclusion a guy in a divers suit runs a dozen blocks (past numerous running military vehicles.) He gets snatched up by the Queen Spider, and then kills her with a 6 volt lantern battery. All the baby giant spiders around town die when the Queen explodes.
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Piranhaconda
Wow, how did I ever miss this one in the deep discount bin?
A 2012 feature with Michael Madsen, Rachel Hunter : A (poorly executed CG) hybrid Piranha /Anaconda slithering creature, chases scantily clad women, and heavily armed men around on an Amazon River island and in an abandoned and crumbling industrial facility.
PO'd over a stolen egg, a pair of Piranhaconda munches people in the jungle, on a beach and down a river.
They bite everyone in half except the heroine and hero, who later attempt to blow them up with some "green stuff."
The hero reveals that he has the stolen egg, but ultimately another Piranhaconda settles the score. A third Piranhaconda then appears from nowhere killing the remaining Piranhacondas and lurks near a waterfall down river . . . I see a sequel coming.
Big Ass Spider
A military experiment goes badly when a giant alien spider escapes from the lab and goes on a rampage in the city of Los Angeles. When the police fail to contain the giant alien spider, the government launches a massive military strike which wreaks havoc on the city but fails to kill the creature.
It is left to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is totally destroyed.
One of my favorite scenes: A runner in the park stops to tie his shoe, looks up into a tree and sees the Big Ass Spider, and screams as he just stands there looking up.
Giant tentacles come down and snatch him up . . . you see an "un-tied" running shoe drop from the sky. . . wait, I just saw him tie that shoe.
Big Ass Spider won the Saturn Award 2014 for Best DVD/Blu-Ray Release.
High-Plains Invaders
Old West setting, hosts an unlikely showdown as aliens invade using a large force of bio-mechanical(?) spiders . . . town residents must join forces with outlaws to fend off the invaders. Technically amusing to say the least. The CG alien bugs are really done very well are very convincing.
The Wild West period costumes are really quite well done as well, the human defenders however are using handguns from nearly every time period, the 1870's the 1930's and shockingly the 1970's. They probably should have hired a firearms consultant for the film, as nearly all the guns used by the featured actors are way too modern for the time period. Acting isn't too bad, pay attention to the actress playing the bounty hunter Rose. She does a great job with her role.
Certainly a low budget film but a kick to watch . . .